Voracious
\\adj//
Having a huge appetite
Desiring to consume great quantities.
At the start of this year I was voracious for the Lord, but I wasn't quite acting on it.
I was saying that I wanted more, but I wasn't really looking for more.
I was asking the Holy Spirit to lead me back to the Lord, but I wasn't really being obedient to the promptings.
Then I started to fast for lent, first time doing it for this specific season, but not my first 40 day fast and a few days in I picked up my Bible and went back to where I left off in the Book of Psalms. And every night, I read the Psalms out loud. Sometimes it was one, other times two or three, however many Psalms were in one page of my Bible.
I voraciously sought the Lord and He met me.
I realized that all this time I was trying to put new wine into old wineskin and it was tearing at the seams. What did that look like?
What was being poured in: The messages, the words of encouragement, were dripping out through those holes. I wasn't retaining it all and as the days went by I was getting more and more depleted. I wondered what was wrong but if I'm honest, I didn't actually look to Jesus for the answer. I just kept asking for more while wondering what was wrong with me.Wondering why I was on fire one moment and the next too tired to pray.
I worried that somehow my heart had hardened against the Lord and somehow the seeds were falling on the rocks - so I repented and I asked God to forgive me over and over again. Because I wanted to pursue Him like before, but nothing I was doing was working.
Until this fast.
Until I started doing things a little different.
As I read Psalms, things began to shift in me.
When I first started, I was catching the words that I could use in my life, ammunition for my prayers.
But as I got deeper into the Psalms, the Holy Spirit began to open my eyes to something greater: God, and what was being said about Him. With this revelation, my reading becamex different because my perspective had shifted. I was no longer just reading out loud, searching to relate scripture to my current situation, I was praising the Lord.
There were nights when I would sing the Psalms to Him at my own beat and others when I was just reading it, enunciating my words to express my gratitude towards Him who is worthy of my praise.
There was one particular night when the Holy Spirit prompted me to get up and sing, and I did. No music in the background. I just sang all the words of songs that came to my mind. The next day, still on that high, the Holy Spirit led me to pray at our young adults' pre-service prayer for our worship team, and for the fact that we get to Worship the Lord. Then, later that night, almost all the songs I had sung the night before were sung to the Lord by the young adults in the rooms.
It was a special moment for me because it was a moment when God showed up and reminded me that He still talks to me and that He's still moving through me.
You see, for the last year and a half I had been filled with doubt. Was I really hearing from God?
Somehow someway I had given the enemy a foothold to speak into my calling. I began to doubt the words I was saying and posting on social media, to the point that I stopped. I started looking at numbers as opposed to just being obedient and I allowed the enemy to speak louder - the words "no one is watching, no one is listening, you're just wasting your time.” led me to stop sharing and being obedient to God when it came to About a Girl and it was this that led to my 7-month-long break from social media in 2022.
I was so concerned with people's opinion that I forgot the mission.
God had to reground me. He had to shift my focus back to Him.
He began to move in my heart and led me to a new season of About a Girl on social media. He led me to separate About a Girl from Aha.Lorenzo.
Aha.Lorenzo will be a more personal day-to-day social media account, while Ahastery Lorenzo - Aka the new account for About a Girl will be more *deep breath* Ministry focused.
I know that both of my accounts are a ministry, because what I do in my personal life is a reflection of my whole life and my brand; but the way ministry will be done is different on each account.
At the end of the day, I'm just a vessel who is willing and able to bring forth the kingdom of God as He sees fit.
With that said, if you are voracious for the Lord - in short, if you have an appetite for God, His Word, His Truth and want to experience it through the gifts He has blessed me with, hop on over to the new About a Girl account. Just be warned, your girl is contending for the faith. I'm not here to please anyone but God. Galatians 1:10 is literally my disclaimer - really, it's in the bio. So you've been warned.
My name is Ahastery Lorenzo and this is About a Girl.
