REFLECTING ON 2021:

What Made Me Angry in 2021?

Oh man!

A lot of things!

There was a point at the start of this year where I was literally being hit with offense every other day it seemed.

I had to sit down with Jesus each time and ask Him to help me handle the situation and to not allow me to grow offense. But as it kept going, I had to dig deeper and ask: okay Lord, why is this making me so angry? What is being triggered?

And through those questions I realized that I like feeling needed, I like being useful and so when I don’t feel like there’s a reason for me to even be present, particularly when I want to be, it triggers me and I react in anger because one of my ‘needs’ is not being met.
I give 100% in everything that I do, and although I don’t need people to shine a light on me with praises, I still like to know that my work is appreciated. So whenever I feel or see that it’s not, I’m triggered. Pretty much what goes in my mind is: what is the point? What was the point of me doing XYZ? I spent my time building this, or doing this, and it’s all changing? Why am I here then?

Learning this about myself allowed me to become self-aware and be able to for the most part, to nip the anger before it could rise up. I have not gotten a absolute handle on it yet, but the Lord has given me enough clarity where I can realize when it does rise up and am able to turn around and repent.
Moreover, because God was able to walk me through this earlier on this year, I was able to handle other would-be offenses and guide others when offense came knocking at their doors.